I can't imagine that planning a family in a traditional way is easy. Deciding when the "right time" to have a baby, trying to get pregnant, waiting in anticipation to remake that old "office" into a nursery... Those are some of the things most women look forward to in their early life---making room in their bodies and homes to house a little bouncing newborn.
That scenario is not in the cards for me. When they hear we're adopting, many people assume that since Ben and I have been married for almost six years that we must be unable to bear children naturally. The truth is, we've not tried to have a child. And in the six years that we've been married, we have fervently sought the Lord and each other's hearts in the plan that we feel God has for our family.
It's hard to explain the feelings in my heart towards our choice...mostly because it seems so natural for us... I've had a few family members and friends comment on what a "noble thing" it is to raise someone else's child..."Well, it's certainly Christian," another said.
Behind my polite nod and smile, I'm screaming somewhere in the back of my mind. "THIS ISN'T ABOUT BEING NOBLE....OR EVEN APPEARING CHRISTIAN!! MY KIDS ARE SOMEWHERE ON THIS EARTH AND I HAVE TO FIND THEM."
While to most, that may sound extreme, that's the best way I can put into words what I feel. My heart longs for children who have been around several years--my children--born to another woman--are somewhere. My heart aches for those children like I have had friends explain to me the feeling of wanting to be pregnant--anticipating the arrival of a child in the womb.
I'm so overwhelmed by the decision Ben and I have made. Not really the undertaking of adoption...but more the intricate plan of God that has interwoven the two of us together and set our hearts in the same place long before we knew what was happening. The seeds of adoption have been growing in both our hearts since we were teenagers--and now that we're together, God has let us in on the secret...His plan for us all along.
So we are greatly anticipating 2012 as the year for the Ben and Deena Shelton family expansion (by one or two)! We are so thankful that the Lord has orchestrated our steps, paths, and decisions to bring us to this point. Our plan is to adopt from the Texas Foster Care system...we'll be taking our classes in January/February.
As we embark on this amazing adventure, I know myself well enough that I'll need to "process" what's going on via some method. I am choosing to document this journey for us so that one day, as we share this story with our children, they will know for certain that their entrance in our family was purposeful and planned. That though their beginning may have been difficult, God has chosen to place us together as a physical representation of HIS family. We are so honored to be entrusted with the lives of our children; we are so grateful that God has been so intricate with the design of our family.
1 comment:
AMAZING! Your blessings are out here somewhere and I can't wait until ya'll find one other!! I am so excited for ya'll to start expanding your family and I can't wait to meet your children!! They will be so blessed to have ya'll as parents and ya'll will be even more blessed to have them as your children!! I can't wait for your story to unfold and read about the amazing journey ya'll are embarking on! You definitely need to keep the blog updated:) (I also need to take my own advice about updating the blog) LOL
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