My son (B) is in first grade and has a quite complicated behavioral rewards system in his classroom. (I'll save you the nerdy info on a well designed token economy...) It's a vertical chart that starts him in the middle each day--on green. If he gets in trouble, he can move down to yellow, orange, or red. Good behavior will move him up to blue, purple, and pink. If he lands on pink, he get's a jewel on his clip; five jewels and that clip is retired to the hall of fame. In addition, he gets a ticket for every clip up and can spend it at his class store. (I warned you it was complicated, but it works...)
E, my daughter, has been completely dissatisfied all year due to her teacher's lack of interest in a behavior chart. Ms. Debbie told me early on this year that she doesn't believe that kids E's age really understand it fully, so she chooses not to focus on that pre-kindergarten. I can see her point; E does not. She wanted a chart.
A few days ago, B got in the car and announced that he was on Blue today. We discussed his efforts and how he clipped up. E piped up and said, "Yeah? Well, I got on rainbow today." My son reminded her that she did not have a chart at school, so she retorted, "So. It's in my head. And rainbow is the best. And that's what I got on today because I did my very best."
What an attitude to have--to allow our internal gauge to supersede the external pressures of others.
When we don't feel adequately measured or seen for what we truly offer from those around us, how often, as adults, do we withdraw or spin our wheels trying to be noticed? I wonder what would happen if we all took a lesson from a pre-k mind and measured ourselves by our own expectations--against our own measuring stick. I bet we would be on rainbow more often if we did...
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